If I Had You
by WaningMoon
Summary: Rachel convinces Kurt to seduce Blaine. Pure fluff.


**A/N: This started out with me thinking that Chris Colfer would probably be able to rock an Adam Lambert song. I'm proud that I actually managed to finish this one.**

**Disclaimer: Neither the characters nor the lyrics are mine. I'm not that awesome.**

**If I Had You **

"Voila!"

Rachel Berry spun Kurt Hummel around in her chair, allowing him to look into the mirror at her dresser for the first time in an hour.

Kurt stared at himself, appalled by what he saw. Staring back at him wasn't the fashionable, preppy Kurt Hummel that he was used to seeing. Staring back at him was a Kurt Hummel who had stepped off the set of a B-grade horror film. His brown eyes were heavily lined with eyeliner, his usually perfect hair was spiked with way too much gel, and his clothes were black: a black leather jacket over a fitted black t-shirt paired with black skinny jeans.

He stared at Rachel and Mercedes Jones' reflections in the mirror. "Are you _trying_ to sabotage me?" he asked flatly.

The two girls rolled their eyes.

"If you're gonna sing a Lambert song, you gotta look like Lambert," Mercedes told him, patting his shoulder. "Besides, you look hot."

"And sabotage was what you tried to do with my…makeover…last year," Rachel pointedly reminded him.

Kurt winced. "Again, I'm sorry." The two girls were right. _Sort of_. He sighed. "I still can't believe I'm about to seduce Blaine," he muttered, reddening.

Mercedes grinned. "I can't believe it either."

Kurt shot her a withering look, and she laughed, not at all intimidated.

"Now, Kurt," Rachel began, turning him around again so he was facing the two girls, "do you have all your lyrics down?"

"Well," Kurt began, but the doorbell rang, and Rachel straightened, a bright smile on her face.

"Blaine's here!" she said, stating the obvious, and scurried out of the room.

Kurt paled, which in his all-black ensemble made him look more like a horror film reject. He looked at Mercedes, who appeared to have caught Rachel's infectious excitement. "I think I'm gonna be sick."

Mercedes grinned. "You'll be fine."

* * *

Blaine Anderson stood on the front porch of Rachel's house, hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans. When Rachel had texted him and told him there was a surprise at her place for him and to be there at 7, he had been a little wary. A couple of months of getting to know Rachel Berry probably did that to people, he assumed. So when she pulled open the door dressed in a black tank top and black skinny jeans that was not her usual choice of outfits, with a huge smile and a knowing look on her face, he raised an eyebrow. "Hey, Rachel," he said hesitantly.

"Hello, Blaine." She stepped aside, making room for him to come in. "Please, come inside."

Eyeing her sceptically, he came into the house. "So…what's the surprise?"

"Don't sound so worried, Blaine," she said, taking his hand and pulling him to the basement. "Trust me, you're going to _love _it."

Blaine frowned, not entirely convinced. Wasn't the basement where Rachel's little stage was…? "Are you…singing…for me?"

Rachel flashed a smile at him. "Shh. Just come," she said dramatically.

"Rachel, we've been through this before," he protested. "I'm _gay_."

Rachel ignored him, dragging him down the steps. "Watch your step," she cautioned.

The basement was dim, and the curtains on Rachel's platform were closed. A single spotlight lit a microphone stand at the front, and there was a lone chair in front of the stage.

Pulling Blaine to the chair, she sat him down in it. "Wait here." And she hurried up onto the platform, hiding behind the curtain.

To say Blaine was confused was an understatement. He heard murmurs going on backstage, and could've sworn he could hear Kurt's voice. He drummed his fingers against his leg, waiting.

Finally the music started up. Blaine automatically looked around him, as the spotlights on the stage began flashing (_Who's working the lights?_) and the curtains were thrown open. A familiar figure dressed entirely in black strutted down the to the mike stand, with Rachel and Mercedes flanking him. Blaine frowned, squinting as he tried to make out who the person was.

_So I got my boots on, got the right 'mount of leather_

_And I'm doing me up with a black colour liner_

_And I'm workin' my strut but I know it don't matter_

_All we need in this world is some love_

Blaine's jaw dropped as he recognized the voice. "KURT?"

_There's a thin line between the dark side and the light side baby tonight_

_It's a struggle, gotta rumble, tryin' to find it_

_But if I had you_

_That would be the only thing I'd ever need_

_Yeah if I had you_

_Then money, fame and fortune never could compete_

_If I had you_

_Life would be a party, it'd be ecstasy_

_Yeah if I had you_

_You_

_You_

_You_

_If I had you_

Blaine stared at Kurt, biting his lip hard to keep himself from laughing. What exactly was going on?

_From New York to L.A., getting high, rock and rolling_

_Get a room, trash it up, till it's ten in the morning_

_Girls in stripper heels, boys rolling in Maseratis_

_What they need in this world is some love_

_There's a thin line between a wild time and a flat line baby tonight_

_It's a struggle, gotta rumble, tryin' to find it_

_But if I had you_

_That would be the only thing I'd ever need_

_Yeah if I had you_

_Then money, fame and fortune never could complete_

_If I had you_

_Life would be a party, it'd be ecstasy_

_Yeah if I had you_

_You_

_You_

_You_

_If I had _

_The flashing of the lights_

_It might feel so good_

_But I got you stuck on my mind_

_Yeah_

_The flashing and the stage_

_It might get me high_

_But it don't mean a thing tonight_

_That would be the only thing I'd ever need_

_Yeah if I had you_

_The money, fame and fortune never could compete_

_If I had you_

_Life would be a party, it'd be ecstasy_

_Yeah if I had you_

_You_

_You_

_You_

_If I had you_

_That would be the only thing I'd ever need_

_Yeah if I had you_

_Then money, fame and fortune never could compete_

_If I had you_

_Life would be a party, it'd be ecstasy_

_Yeah if I had you_

_You_

_You_

_You_

_If I had you_

The spotlights faded, and the basement lights came on. Kurt, Rachel and Mercedes stood on the platform, breathing heavily. Kurt looked at Blaine nervously as the two girls exchanged excited looks.

There was silence for a moment.

"Well?" Kurt finally asked.

"Um, that was…certainly…different…" Blaine answered. "What…what just happened?"

"Kurt was trying to seduce you!" Rachel chirped, and both Kurt and Mercedes shot her horrified looks. "Didn't it work?"

"Mercedes!" Kurt pleaded, looking at his best friend desperately.

"I got it," Mercedes said with a roll of her eyes as she grabbed Rachel's arm and pulled her off the stage and up the stairs.

"But I wanna see what happens!" Rachel protested, trying to shake off Mercedes' grip.

"We're leaving them alone," Mercedes said firmly, closing the door behind them.

Kurt remained on the platform, gripping the microphone stand so hard his knuckles were turning white. He stared at Blaine, trying to figure out his expression.

Rachel hadn't been kidding when she'd said there was a surprise for him, Blaine thought. He looked up at Kurt. "Were you really trying to…?"

"It was Rachel's idea," Kurt quickly replied.

Blaine smiled. "Of course."

"I'm sorry," Kurt said, his face red hot. "I was just…I don't even know what I was doing, actually. I just…I…Ireallywantyoutoaskmeout, Blaine."

Blaine blinked. "Why didn't _you_ ask me out, then?" he asked after a moment.

Kurt paused. He wanted to smack himself. "I…it…never actually…crossed my mind."

Blaine grinned. Standing up, he closed the gap between them in three strides. "Well then." He got down on one knee. "Kurt Hummel, would you like to have dinner at Breadsticks with me tonight?"

Kurt stared at Blaine before breaking into a relieved smile. "Yes. Yes, I would."

"But you have to change first. I prefer you…not in black," Blaine teased, leading Kurt out of the basement.

"Good, because there's no way I am ever letting anyone else see me in this."

Blaine pulled open the basement door, and Rachel and Mercedes stumbled forward. Both girls straightened quickly, trying to pretend they hadn't been trying to listen in.

The four of them looked at each other.

"Well?" Rachel finally asked. "What happened?"

Kurt and Blaine exchanged a smile. Saying nothing, Kurt brushed past Rachel and Mercedes, pulling Blaine up with him.

Rachel grinned smugly at Mercedes. "I told you it'd work."

**-|end|-**

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